How it Might of Happened
by DoomaWriter
Summary: The DBZ story told from a slightly more realistic (and more humorous) view. Read and Review!
1. That Time Raditz Came

How it Might of Happened by DoomaWriter  
  
Author's Notes: I do not claim that I own Dragonball Z or Dragonball Z related materials in anyway. There, now with that out of the way, let me explain this fic. Now I'm a big fan of DBZ, but let's face it, most of the things that went on during it wasn't that realistic (excluding the whole aliens, flying, and ki blasts stuff). Here's my interpretation of how the Z- cast would of acted in their situations had they been normal people. (Some subtle/flamboyent OOC may appear.)  
  
Chapter 1: That Time Raditz Came  
  
A farmer is working out in his field when he notices a twinkle grow bigger and bigger. Out of nowhere, the sphere falls out of the sky and creates a crater where it lands. He stands and looks around to see if there are any others who could of witnessed this phenomenon. "Whew wee, I reckon that thar's one of them flying UFOs I done heard about on the T.V. I got'sa takes me a closer look see!"  
  
The chubby guy idiotically hops into his van and drives to the crash site. He stumbles out of the vehicle armed with nothing but a rifle. He slowly walks toward it with his trusty boom-stick, shivering in his hands.  
  
Suddenly, a figure flies up from the hole and stops right in front of his face. Out of instinct, the freightened farmer lets his gun go off before wetting himself. The bullet smacks into the humanoid creature's arm and falls to the ground. (Yeah, the story didn't actually go this way, but its better if I change it a bit).  
  
The long haired man looked down to his shoulder than stared angrily at the puny lifeform in front of him in disbelief. "Ow!" He said sarcastically. "Did-did you just...shoot me? The hell is your problem? I just come out of my ship and you shoot me? Come here."  
  
In a blind panic, the farmer gets up and heads for his truck only to be cut off from the door as the alien speeds in front of him. "How would you like it if you came to my home planet and we all shot the crap out of you? Would you like it? Would that be fun? Hmm?" The farmer shook his head slow and nervously. "No, I didn't think so. Gimme that!"  
  
The farmer looked down to find his hands have been emptied. He quickly looks up only to get the front of his skull smashed in by the back of his own tool. "What weak creatures," the alien muttered. He spat and threw the gun into the cold, dead fingers of its master. "Now lets see where baby brother could be." He pressed a button on the scouter which was latched onto his ear. A few symbols appeared to the tones of beeps. "There you are. Now to get back to work. I'm on the clock here." The creature flew upward and off into the distance.  
  
---  
  
The evil Piccolo sat in meditation upon the top of a rocky mountain thinking of bad remarks about his arch-nemesis' mother. He stands up with a shock, "Goku? No..the power I'm sensing doesn't suck ass as much as his.....If only I had someone around to hear me say these things." He turned around to see a long haired being standing behind him.  
  
"Excuse me, I thought you were someone else. Say, would you know where Kakarot is? He should look a bit like me, has a tail. Unusually strong with a desire to destroy, can't miss him."  
  
"W-who are you?" Piccolo asked with a shake he never felt before.  
  
"Woah, no need to get personal. Just wanted to know if you've seen Kakarot. Yes? No?"  
  
"I haven't seen him..Carrot top, or whomever it is you seek."  
  
"Hey, you don't go around insulting a man's brother like that. God, is this planet full of jackasses? I'll be happy once the whole thing blows." With that, the alien checked his scouter once again then took off. "I'll be back for you green-man!"  
  
Piccolo stood shaking moments after the visitor left. The immense power he had felt was like no other."Holy crap."  
  
---  
  
"Hey, everyone!" The woman shouted as she entered the lone pink house.  
  
"Bulma! Long time no see!" Krillin said with a large smile. "I'm so glad you can make it!"  
  
"Eyes up here."  
  
Krillin quickly popped his head up and looked into Bulma's face. "Sorry, 'bout that, but you know how it is when you're my height!"  
  
"Nice try, you pervert."  
  
Master Roshi, zipped past Krillin to greet the guest he was most anxious to see. "Bulma! Why you're a sight for sore eyes, heh heh heh!"  
  
"Eyes up here, old man!"  
  
"Well you know how it is when you're my-"  
  
"Say, " Krillin interrupted. "Where's Yamcha? Isn't he coming?"  
  
Bulma gritted her teeth and became furious. "That jerk! I didn't even tell him about this meeting! I swear its over with us!"  
  
---  
  
Sitting on the bench of a baseball field, a sneeze came to Yamcha suddenly. "Woah, that can't be good." Next to him, his best friend Puar floated by his head. The other members of the baseball team were cramming themselves on the other side of the bench in fear of the freakish flying, talking cat nature had puked up.  
  
"Bulma's not going to be happy that you stood her up, y'know."  
  
"B'ah! Whatever! I can take her or leave her. She's been cramping my style anyways."  
  
"I'll say. She sure had you pussy-whipped."  
  
Yamcha fell over as the words smacked into his ear. "Puar! No she didn't, I just felt like helping her every now and then!"  
  
"Oh, c'mon. Do you remember what you were doing before you met her? You were a desert bandit!Desert....Bandit! Seriously, she had you waiting on her hand and foot. She made you do things you wouldn't usually do, such as cut your hair and...bathe regularily."  
  
"Shuttup! I took lots of baths!"  
  
"Yeah the water just came gushing through the spout in the middle of a desert."  
  
".....Shut up."  
  
---  
  
Bulma looked suspiciously at the turtle hermit. "A fee? What fee?"  
  
"Well, you see, hosting this party takes money. So I'm requesting that all the participants either pay a small fee or...." He inched closer to Bulma and began to blush. "You can...let me fondle your-"  
  
"HERE'S YOUR MONEY!!!" Bulma slammed the zeni into Roshi's hands.  
  
"Damn, so close. It worked on Krillin."  
  
Bulma looked at her small friend suspiciously but Krillin confidently replied, "Hey, its better than paying his ridiculous fines."  
  
A yell came from outside. "Hey, anybody home!?" Everyone hurried out to see Goku hopping off of his flying nimbus cloud. They all stopped to see a small child in his hands. "Say 'Hi', son."  
  
"Uh....." The child began before running behind his father and grasping his leg.  
  
"Goku..." Bulma began with a serious look. "Where did the kid come from? Did you take him from a toy store? You're going to have to take him back, y'know."  
  
"No, his name's Gohan. He's my son."  
  
"Y-y-your son!?" Bulma yelled in shock. Krillen and Master Roshi quickly ran past her and started giving congratulations at what Goku had done.  
  
"Way to go, man!" Krillen said. "I knew you had it in you! And with Chichi, wow! Hey, just between you and me, how was it?"  
  
Master Roshi quickly joined in. "Spare no detail, whatsoever! Or better yet, did you get it on tape?"  
  
Goku hunched down to his friends' level and began his tale. "Well, actually- "  
  
"Ahem!" Bulma interrupted, holding Gohan's ears. "Can you save it for some other time?" All the men stood up correctly and regain their composure.  
  
"Gohan?" Krillin asked. "Doesn't that mean rice? That has to be the stupidest-"  
  
"He's named after my Grandpa." Goku explained.  
  
"...best, most kick-ass name I've ever heard."  
  
For a while the group caught up, had some laughs, and all was good. But as cruel fate would have it, peace would not last long. The alien creature lands upon the island and all Hell breaks loose. "Hello, baby brother. It's been a long time. Big brother Raditz has come."  
  
Goku looked to his left, the right, then pointed to himself. "Who, me?"  
  
"Yes, the family resemblence is uncanny!"  
  
"I don't know," Krillin jumped in. "I'm not seeing it."  
  
"Come on! Look at our jaw lines! And the nose, you hafta see it!"  
  
"Hmm, a little.... I guess. But that's not enough to convince me. If you ask me, I think you've been dipping in the egg nog."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"You know, empting out the keg. Swinging back a few brewskis. Sniffing the cider. Partying like its 1999."  
  
"......Are you implying that I've been drinking? I've had enough of this planet's impudence!" With that, Raditz unwrapped his tail from around his waist and slapped it across Krillin's face. As the bald man started to fly back, Raditz's tail wound around Krillen's leg and tossed him up in the air and slapped him once again. Krillen flew back and crashed through the side of the Kame house.  
  
Goku turned to his downed friend. "Krillin! Are you ok!?"  
  
"Oh just fine, I get slapped into the side of houses everyday....dumbass."  
  
Raditz chuckled to himself before noticing something was amiss. "Kakarot! Where is your tail?! My God, you look so horribly disfigured!"  
  
"I lost it a long time ago." Goku said, turning away from Krillin. "Lawnmower, long story."  
  
--- To be continued... ---  
  
Author notes: Well, that's it for Chapter 1. Next up, Goku and Piccolo unite! And just so that you know, I'm not planning on doing a hundred of these to cover every detail in the DBZ series. I'll be skipping around as the story continues. If you wish for me to continue, review! Review like the wind! (And don't bother me about the spelling of the names, there's like a jillion of 'em) 


	2. Goku Team Up with Piccolo? No Way!

How it Might of Happened by DoomaWriter  
  
Author's notes: Wow, you guys really came through and reviewed. *sniff* Aww geez, I promised myself I wouldn't cry. Give me a moment.........Ok, where were we? Oh yes, thanks for the kind words! And I'm keeping up my end of the bargain with Chapter 2!  
  
One last thing: When I started this, I figured I'd jump back and forth to a variety of scenes in the DBZ story, but now I don't know whether or not I should just go in chronological order. So I'm leaving the choice up to you guys, tell me what you'd want.  
  
Chapter 2: Goku Team Up with Piccolo? No Way!  
  
Goku stood with mixed emotions. He was just as angry as he was confused. Raditz stared back at him with a similar expression. The sound of a flush went off in the background and Master Roshi walked out of the house to rejoin everyone. "So what'd I miss?...Oh right, the staring thing."  
  
A solution came to Raditz and he began again. "Tell me, Kakarot: did you hit your head when you were little?"  
  
What an odd question. Goku thought over answering. Not wanting to anger the obviously strong and probably drunk visitor, Goku humored him. "Yes...When I was really little."  
  
"You fool! That explains everything!"  
  
Bulma leaned over to Master Roshi and whispered, "I'll say."  
  
"You've forgotten everything! The order to destroy this planet...Where you're from...."  
  
"W-Where I'm from?"  
  
"Planet Vegeta! You and I, baby brother, are of the Saiyan race! A proud people who love to fight!"  
  
Goku's eyes opened. There had to be some truth. He was born with a tail and urged to battle. At this moment Master Roshi finally decided it was time to let Goku know everything.  
  
"There's something I should tell you that you're grandfather told me, " Roshi interrupted. "You see, when you were young, your Grandfather found you in an odd round pod. Because he was a very lonely and somewhat eccentric man, Gohan decided to raise you. But you proved to be a real pain in the ass, so one day he dropped y- Uh, I mean...you got away from him and...fell...on your head....down a ravine. Afterwards you became a caring, loving baby boy....with a slower learning rate."  
  
"Wait, why didn't you tell me this before?"  
  
Roshi shrugged. "I don't konw."  
  
"So you've forgotten your goal. To destroy this planet!" Raditz explained angrilly. But suddenly, he smiled. "Well, the past is the past. I'll be able to forget it if you join me and continue to destroy planets for a profit."  
  
Goku rubbed his chin. "I'm not saying yes...But if I did...what type of profit are we talking?"  
  
All of his friends turned at Goku and screamed. "GOKU!"  
  
"I was just kidding! C'mon!"  
  
"Very well, " Raditz said. Goku noticed his eyes were falling on Gohan. "If I can't persuade you with words, maybe if I take your son."  
  
"What!? You'll never touch Gohan!" Goku brought his hand down to protect his son but felt only air. He looked behind him and then looked up to see Gohan in Raditz's hand. "Aww crap."  
  
"Bring me one million dead bodies by tomorrow to prove your loyalty. Then you can join us and have the rugrat back."  
  
"A million dead bodies!? You're insane!!"  
  
"Fine, how about ten thousand?"  
  
"One thousand."  
  
"Mmmm, deal."  
  
"Alright, then. Would you want them plain or gift wrapped or what?"  
  
Bulma smacked the back of Goku's thick skull. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!?"  
  
"You're right...I'll never be able to gift wrap so many in time. Deal's off! Give me back my son or I'll kick your-" Goku's words were cut short by huge pain in his stomach. Everything was in slow motion to him as he flew back. One hit! He was taken down in one hit!  
  
"Goku!" Krillin yelled still grabbing his sore face.  
  
Raditz started to levitate, ready to fly off. When he saw this, Goku tried to pick himself up. "Wait...."he moaned. "Is....that...all you've....got?.....Come on....I'll take you out...right now.....in twenty minutes..." At this point Goku had managed to get up on one knee. Yet his words didn't stop the alien from flying away.  
  
Once he was far gone, a voice came from behind the group. "It appears even Goku was no match for him." They all turned around to see the villanous Piccolo coming from behind the Kame house! "He sure made a fool out of you. Although when talking about Goku that's not saying much."  
  
Krillin started to talk in place of his friend who was still regaining his breath. "Wh-what are you doing here?"  
  
"I've come to offer my assistance. Don't get me wrong, I would still like nothing more than to wipe the bottom of my shoes with his tounge...but that'll have to wait. I have plans for this planet and I can't allow it to be destroyed by someone who came out of nowhere."  
  
"Wait a second...Were you hiding behind that house?"  
  
"Do you really want to anger me, shorty?"  
  
After taking a step back, Krillin put his hands and started a nervous laugh. "H-hey now...No need to get excited."  
  
---  
  
Once he recovered, Goku had asked for the dragon radar. He was currently flying on his nimbus to the site where the radar indicated the dragonball on Gohan's hat was. Next to him was the evil Piccolo who wasn't one for conversations. Goku decided to keep himself amused. "....Seventy-three bottles of beer on the wall, seventy-bottles of beer..."  
  
"IF YOU DON'T STOP THAT DAMN SONG I'LL PERSONALLY KILL YOUR SON MYSELF!"  
  
"Sheesh......" They remained quiet until Goku - forgetting that they were enemies - decided to break the ice. "So...uh....see the game last night?"  
  
"No, I was too busy sleeping with your wife."  
  
Goku nearly fell off of his cloud. "What!? Why would you say something like that!?"  
  
"I realised that you need me. You won't chance me leaving you now, would you? That means I can say whatever I want to you and you can't do anything."  
  
"What if I decided to leave you!?"  
  
"I doubt you would forsaken your son and this pitiful planet." Piccolo chuckled to himself. "So, Goku...did you enjoy sleeping with your wife two nights ago?...Oh wait, that was me again."  
  
Goku gritted his teeth and forced himself to stay silent. Under his breath he only muttered, "Asshole."  
  
"What was that? I couldn't hear you."  
  
"I didn't say anything."  
  
"Want to know what your wife said...while I was sleeping with her?"  
  
----------- End of Chapter 2 -----------  
  
Author's notes: Hey, I think you'd be pretty upset if a big green monster said that he slept with your spouse too. Well that's it for this Chapter. Where should I go on from now? Continue? Have a better spot in the DBZ series in mind? Your reviews decide Chapter 3. 


	3. Who Says?

How it Might of Happened by Doomawriter  
  
Author's notes: You know, being an author in the DBZ section is really tough. I mean, your story gets buried under so many updated stories, by day two you've been bumped back to page 3. And then you find out the ten reviews of your first chapter mysteriously disappear!  
  
Well, this fic isn't about my problems and I'm sure you didn't come to hear this. I just want to say that if you guys like this, try checking out my story "One Man's Love, One Baby's Hate" in the Dragonball section. (Its not shameless self-promotion! No one checks out the DB section).  
  
Chapter 3: Who Says?  
  
According to the dragon radar (which was very big and clunky for a futuristic device) Goku and Piccolo had closed in on Gohan's position. Raditz's scouter had picked them up and he stood, next to his space pod, awaiting their arrival. Though he found it hard to concentrate with the constant crying of his nephew.  
  
"Will you shut up already!?" Raditz screamed at Gohan. "You call yourself a Saiyan!?"  
  
Gohan held back his wailing to utter. "No!"  
  
"Oh yeah, that's right. I forgot you had no clue what a Saiyan was until..." Raditz checked his scouter. "Fourty minutes ago."  
  
Gohan continued to cry. Unfortunately Raditz needed him alive to have any hold against his reluctant brother. *Hmm* he thought. *Maybe I can kill him and say that he's sleeping. I can hold him up by wires to make him move....No, that's just stupid.*  
  
"Hey there," Raditz began with a sly smile as he reached into his chest armor. "I've got something for you. Its..um, candy." He pulled out a small, brown square and showed it to Gohan. "Why don't you take it?"  
  
The crying stopped instantly and Gohan began to inch toward the alien relative cautiously. "I-Is it really candy? Or is this a trick? It won't do anything to me would it?"  
  
"Of course not! I won't hurt my own blood!" He motioned for Gohan to come closer. As the child was in reaching range, Raditz hurled it into his pod. "Oops, I dropped it. Would you mind?"  
  
Prefering to take the candy from the strange round thing than the bad man who hurt his daddy, Gohan ran into the ship and popped the candy in his mouth. "Mmm...coconut!" As he savored the chewy treat, the door closed behind him and trapping Gohan inside. "Hey!"  
  
"Heh heh heh. Earthlings aren't only weak but they're idiots too. No home- bred Saiyan would fall for such an obvious trap!"  
  
---  
  
Two pairs of shoes had touched the land and Raditz chuckled arrogantly. "Well well, so you've come already, eh Kakarot? But it looks like you heard me wrong. I said bring me one thousand dead bodies, not one alive green one!"  
  
Goku and Piccolo ignored the remark and showed their I-really-don't-like- you faces. "Where's my son?" Goku said directly.  
  
"You didn't raise him well, baby brother. His damn whining forced me to shut him up. Look into that crater, you'll find him." As Goku took off to check on his son, Raditz directed his attention to Piccolo. "I must ask you something. On your way here..."  
  
"Yes?" Piccolo said.  
  
"On your way here, did any bugs fly into your face?"  
  
"....A few."  
  
"Alright, I just thought that I was the only one. I've always wanted to ask someone that. Doesn't it get annoying?"  
  
The light conversation was ended as Goku landed back besides Piccolo. Knowing his son was safe, he decided he might as well begin. He undone his boots and then began to take off his blue, under shirt. Raditz and Piccolo both looked on with a confused and slightly disgusted eye until they heard the loud thud of the weighted clothing hitting the floor.  
  
"Oh, you're removing your weights...." Piccolo said with a sigh of relief as he began to remove his.  
  
"Of course, " Goku said, putting his orange gi back on. "What did you think I was doing? Getting naked?"  
  
"Um....of course not."  
  
"Now that I'm not weighed down, I won't be as much of a pushover as I seemed to be before!" Goku smiled at the thought of a good battle on the same grounds as his enemy. However, he quickly frowned at the sound of Raditz's laughter.  
  
"Seriously! Do you think by removing a few weights that you now stand a chance against me?"  
  
"Bull'! I'm much faster now."  
  
"No, this would be fast." With that, Raditz instantly vanished from their sights. He reappeared behind Goku and Piccolo and tapped them on their shoulders. As the two turned around, he reappeared back to in front of them. "What are you guys looking at?"  
  
"You just-"  
  
"No I didn't."  
  
"But you- Dammit! That's not funny!"  
  
Raditz tried to hold back his laughter. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry, just having a little fun."  
  
Pissed off at being made fun of, Goku figured why wait? Now was as good a time as ever to blast this pain all the way to He- uh, 'another dimension'...yeah.  
  
Goku placed his hands together and got ready to focus his power. "Kaaaa...meeiiii-" A blow to the face sent him out of his focus and back a few steps. "What was that!?"  
  
"What?" Raditz asked confused. "Aren't we fighting here?"  
  
"Yeah, but you have to let me finish!"  
  
"Since when!?"  
  
"It's like an unwritten rule!"  
  
"No its not! How do I know you didn't just make that up?"  
  
"WILL YOU TWO JUST SHUT UP AND FIGHT!?" Piccolo said, having enough of the sibling rivalry. "What are you guys, four!?"  
  
Raditz pouted. "He started it."  
  
"I don't care who started it! Just go!"  
  
"Right!" Goku agreed. "Kaaa...meeei..- OW!!"  
  
"Sorry," Raditz said with a smirk. "I forgot. Go ahead."  
  
"Kaaa....meeiiii- OW! DAMMIT!"  
  
"Finger slipped! Seriously! Won't happen again."  
  
"Kaaa...meeeiiiii...haaa- OW!!"  
  
"Finger slipped," Piccolo said with the same smirk.  
  
----- End of Chapter 3 ----- Author's notes: And that's it for this chapter. My offer from Chapter 2 still stands. If you want me to continue or skip to another spot, I'm all ears...um...eyes. Personally, I'm leaning towards skipping ahead to the end of this battle. But I always want to please the fans! Well, the fans that speak up and review.  
  
(Oh and if you're confused, I tend to spell it "Kameihamei-ha.") 


	4. I Really Didn't Need This

How it Might of Happened by DoomaWriter  
  
Author's notes: Ready for another chapter? I guess you'd have to if you clicked on the link. Forget I asked. First off, when I thought about what I'd do this chapter on, I had two different decisions. I decided I'd do this one because it takes place far from the Saiyan saga and I wanted to prove that I'm jumping back and forth. This story takes place after Freeza lands upon Earth (for those of you smiling - ssh, don't ruin it for the others). Spoiler alert for anyone who hasn't seen this part.  
  
Chapter 4: I Really Didn't Need This  
  
Freeza's ship had landed upon the weak, little planet and the group of henchmen had secured the perimeter. King Cold looked at his son with a questioning eye. Freeza had been constantly looking over his metal parts with a depressing look. "Whatever is the matter, son?" Cold asked. "Is there a malfunction?"  
  
With an irritated look, Freeza turned to Cold. "Tell me father," Freeza began. "Was I assembled in the dark? I mean, really, look at me! You cut back on expenses didn't you?" He pointed to one of the metal plates. "Look at how ugly this is! Was I fashioned together with old soup cans?"  
  
A sweatdrop came to Cold's face. "Now, now, son. The doctors did the best they could. It may not be pretty but it gets the job done, doesn't it?"  
  
"Hmmph! I swear father, you could be so insensitive." No matter how much he complained, Freeza's mood always lightened back up. His plans were going smoothly. To pay back the horrible monkey of a man who had stripped away his pride, Freeza was going to masacure every living thing on the planet. A small chuckled bursted into a loud laughter.  
  
His father gave out a sigh of relief. "Well, I'm glad that you're feeling better. By the way, son, you never did tell me how you were in such a bad shape. Do you mind filling me in?"  
  
Freeza's laugh haulted. His eyes shifted as he thought up of a good excuse. "Well you see, father, I had just finished killing one, no, two hundred Namekian warriors single-handedly when I was ambushed from behind, by a Super Saiyan."  
  
"My word! A Super Saiyan? I didn't know that such things actually existed."  
  
"Yes, well he wasn't that strong. I had him begging for mercy in thirty seconds. I could of killed him easily but I wanted to throw the poor thing a bone."  
  
"Very sporting. Go on."  
  
"Well, I was about to kill him when he blew up the planet. The planet did so much damage to me because...um...the Nameks were holding several nuklear warheads."  
  
Cold scratched his chin and said,"I thought the Nameks were a peaceful race."  
  
Freeza's forehead was covered in sweatdrops. "Um...No....They have nukes....The End."  
  
"Well, that does explain how you were in such a pitiful state," Cold said, believing in the terrible story. He closed his eyes and folded his arms. "I knew that one person couldn't of placed you in such a pitiful state. I maen imagine, the strongest being in the universe, cut down to nothing more than a few bloody pieces. It'd be humiliating. Especially if it was due to something like a Super Saiyan..or your own attack backfiring. What if that had happened and the men knew of it? Imagine all the laugh-"  
  
"I get it, father!" Freeza yelled with his hands in a fist. A vein could be seen popping out of his forehead. Yet once again, his views of revenge brought back his smile. "Yes, it shall be me who'll be doing all of the laughing! I'll prove to the universe that no Saiyan is a match for me!"  
  
"Oh really?"  
  
Freeza and the others all turned to see where the voice had come from. A young man was standing off to the side with a cocky smile on his face and a sword on his back. No one had seen when he arrived. His light purple hair fluttered in the wind. "I believe you said something about no Saiyan being a match for you?"  
  
The henchmen all pointed their blasters in his direction. The child surely didn't know what he had stumbled into. Either that or he had to of been out of his mind. Though no one had bothered to think about how he got past security or how strong he might be at full power, they were all sure he was a common weakling of Earth. The first thing they've learned was to judge your enemies soley by their looks.  
  
"I don't have time for this," Freeza said, growing impatient of the foolish boy. "Men, destroy him!" He flicked his wrist, signaling the soldiers. They all lunged at the mysterious youth, confident of their victory.  
  
The boy grabbed the handle of his weapon and in seconds it was all over. His sword was in his hand and his enemies were on the ground. All of them, killed. What was most surprising of all was the fact that the boy had just killed dozens of men without thinking twice. One has to wonder what type of mental state the kid had to be in to pull that off. He should be having a psychological break down or something.  
  
---  
  
Sorry, but I'm fast forwarding through the Freeza battle. You've either seen it already or you'd rather see it in its original form than have me go on and on about it. Plus it wouldn't be that funny. You want me to use horrible puns like "Slice to meet you"? I'd rather kill myself. Let's pick it up afterwards.  
  
---  
  
"Well, that was easy," the young fighter said as Freeza's burnt bits fell in front of him. "I like this time period. The evil cyborgs die a lot easier." He looked around and placed his sights on King Cold who was currently sneaking away. "Your turn."  
  
Cold stopped in his tracks and fear was stamped into his face. "Uh-uh, you don't want to kill me," Cold explained. "W-Why I'm not even mad th-that you killed my son, I never did like him. He tended to walk around with no pants."  
  
"Yeah, I noticed," the teen said with a look of disgust. "Thanks for the reminder. I'll never be able to get that visual out of my head."  
  
"You see? You and I are on the same side here. Why don't you join-"  
  
"Join you?" the unknown one interrupted. "Let me guess, this is where you ask me to join you in taking over the universe just so that you can double cross me in the future and kill me when I'm not looking, thus leaving the universe to be yours?"  
  
"Ye- um..no."  
  
The two stood staring at each other. The boy had a look on his face that said "How stupid do you think I am?". Yet, Cold had a look upon his face which said more along the lines of "Please, please, please get me out of here!"  
  
"Say, can I see your sword?" Cold said, breaking the deafening silence. The young man gave a confused look, but then smiled and tossed the sword to his foe. "Ah, yes. Such good craftsmanship. Beautiful. Believe it or not, I know a little about swords myself. I bet this is a replica of a ceremonial katana, isn't it?"  
  
".......Its a friggin broadsword!"  
  
--- End of Chapter 4 ---  
  
Author's notes: Well, you can guess where the rest of this goes. I apologize for people who know too little of swords to understand this joke. I also apologize for people who know too much of swords and are pulling their hair out right now. For everyone else....have a cookie. 


End file.
